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Joke of the Day

"Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the ""Like"" button."

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"The amount of tinder matches I've gotten has skyrocketed since I changed my interests from ""Murdering"" to ""Not Murdering"""
"If you think it's hilarious that George Bush is getting a library, wait till you hear he was our PRESIDENT for EIGHT YEARS."
"The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK"
"Michael Jackson had alot of good songs... But his best ones were when he was in A Minor"
"M: Um, you just spelled ""qwerty"" as ""querty"". H: So? M: Look at the keyboard. H: And? M: [Breaking fourth wall look to camera]"
"Cleavage is like the Sun, you can glance at it for only a second, but if you wear sunglasses, you can look much longer."
"Daddy Bear -""Someones been sleeping in my bed."" Mummy Bear -""Wouldn't be the first time."" Daddy Bear -""It's been 3 years Sue, let it go."""
"Hard to believe I once had a phone ATTACHED TO A WALL. When it rang I'd pick it up WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS CALLING. Amazing I'm still alive."
"I want to see where the indians live.... But I have my reservations."