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Joke of the Day

"Doctor: Any cancer in the family? Me: My mom is a Sagittarius, but I'll have to check on everyone else. Doc: ..."

"What do you call a priest that becomes a lawyer? A father in law."

"I've just got back from an undertakers convention and the main topic was new ways of disposing of the dead There was a lot of thinking outside of the box."

"You know what I've noticed a lot of posts about recently? The Baader-Meinhof phenomenon."

"How do you call a lesbian, black, Canadian woman? With a phone."

"As a Hilary supporter in Colorado, I'm still happy with the outcome of the election. Since proposition 106 passed I can legally kill myself now that trump won."

"*Attempts to give a Homeless guy change* Him: Thanks. You never know, one day my situation might be you. Me: Really? *holds on to change*"

"mall santas make me mad becuase its like as if we need another reason to give jobs to old white men"

"An incendiary note i left resulted in suicide by arson"

"What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen? Eat out."