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Joke of the Day

"Subway's Jared got famous for fitting into smaller pants... ...now he is known for hoping to get into really small pants."

"probably the best joke rn your face..."

"Why aren't Pokemon very good dancers? They can only learn 4 moves."

"What would aliens say if told that Earthlings shift clocks by an hour to fool themselves into thinking there's more sunlight"

"I don't smoke, I don't drink, and I don't curse... god damn it - I left my cigarettes at the bar!!"

"Put the punchline before the setup. What's the best way to ruin any joke?"

"What do you call a robot with bad breath who's sister lives on its foot? HAL-i-toe-sis"

"My Jr High teacher makes me have sex with her while her husband watches, but that's not the worst part. ....I'm homeschooled."

"took a girl to starbucks because i forgot her name"

"I just don't understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance."