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Joke of the Day

"Why did Adele cross the road? To get to the other side. Sorry."

"""Dad, why is my picture on that milk carton?"" ""Well, son, I guess it's time that I tell you the truth. You were adopted... from a dairy."""

"Twilight and Hostess are over. It's a sad day for fat girls."

"Seven days with no food makes Juan week."

"""He's not sleeping with you cause you're fat and ugly, so lose some weight and do your make up like this."" - Women's magazines, summarized."

"If she shovels shit at the local zoo, then she's a keeper"

"My girlfriend caught me blow drying my penis and asked what I was doing.. Apparently ""Heating your dinner"" was the wrong answer"

"What's Wayne Static's relationship with drugs? [**I SEE IT!** ooooohh **I NEED IT!**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ps0MfBG5-Uo#t=1m24s)"

"I've done a lot of stupid stuff in my life, but at least I've never signed up at the gym in January."

"Here's how I gained 27Ibs of muscle in 5 weeks: Lying."