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Joke of the Day

"I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate... And I can picture us invading that world because they'd never see it coming."

"When Gordon Ramsay saw a cute puppy gif on Reddit, why did he get mad? Because it was /r/aww"

"Ugh don't you hate it when you accidentally leave the volume up on your phone & the next stall hears the *click* when you snapchat your turd"

"I bet those 300 Greek soldiers would have stood a better chance if they thought to wear armor instead of going to war in capes & speedos."

"You shouldn't write with a broken pencil It's pointless"

"I hate when people talk behind my back. They disscuss me."

"Why shouldn't you run over a mexican kid on a bike? Because it might be your bike."

"Watching TV today I saw a struggling actress I used to know had landed a job in a bra commercial. Nice to see her supporting herself."

"A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar, and the impressed bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that? "" The parrot shrieks.... ""*AFRICA!*"""

"Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs? Episcopaleontologists"