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Joke of the Day

"If you want your girlfriend's undivided attention, tell her she looks like a million bucks!!! All green and wrinkled."

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong socks."

"What did the terrorist say when he woke up? It was Allah dream."

"In honour of today: Christa McAuliffe's last words. ""Hey Captain, what does this button do?"""

"That hot person you've been flirting with over the internet has one normal arm and one shrivelled T. rex arm."

"A party without Vodka is just a meeting."

"Ironic! That even if Oscar pistorious is found not guilty .He still won't walk free"

"HOW MANY BABIES DOES IT TAKE TO PAINT A WALL? Well, since 1 baby could paint 0 walls, it would take infinite babies to paint a wall."

"What does Peter Gabriel sing on the toilet? I am the extruder..."

"Pancake day has really crepe'd up on me this year."