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Joke of the Day

"They say a a dog is man's best friend, but I don't even have enemies that'll look me dead in the eye while taking a sh!t on my carpet."

"What did the fish say when he ran into a concrete wall? Dam!"

"Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money."

"Me: I'd like to report a disturbance. Police Dispatcher: Okay, where sir? Me: In the force, I can feel it."

"What do you call a paper crane folded by a prositute? Whoreigami"

"[RACIST] The Parrot A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. ""Wow,"" says the bartender. ""That is really something. Where'd you get it?"" ""Africa,"" says the parrot."

"After being made bishop, a man is asked what his next move will be. Diagonal."

"I wonder if AM realizes how bad it sucks compared to PM and FM?"

"Pretty certain the day I die my body will be found tangled in Saran Wrap with an untouched sandwich on the counter."

"I bet ""jerk chicken"" is that chicken that cuts others off when the other chickens are trying to cross the road."