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Joke of the Day

"How can a middle aged unemployed rat with 4 teenage turtles afford so much pizza?"

"Dear XBOX Kinect If I wanted to use my whole body to play sports, I'd play sports."

"What do you call an Arabic rapper? Vanilla Isis"

"I tried that whole ""if you love something, set it free"" thing but my kids are still here."

"I was practicing moves on a stripper pole, when all of a sudden I heard a loud ringing. Then 3 firemen fell from the sky and crushed me."

"What is Bill Cosby's favorite ice cream flavor? Rape."

"I bought a clock, and then the big hand broke off it... I didn't want to throw it away, so I just added ""ish"" to every number."

"Trying to open a Capri Sun is the longest relationship I've had in 2015."

"Someone just threw sodium chloride at me. It was a salt."

"What were Charles Darwin's favorite fruits? Oranges and peaches."