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Joke of the Day
"Why is DeadMau5 bad at math? He drops the base when doing logs."
Next Joke
"What has one hundred balls and screws old ladies? Bingo"
"Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily."
"A gay man introduced himself to me at the bar the other day. He said, ""my name is Richard. But I prefer Dick."""
"What do you call a retired soldier who's been blighted with mustard gas and pepper spray? A seasoned veteran"
"What do you get when you put tea in pans pants"
"A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."
"6yo: I can't wait to be an adult! Me: Adults don't get snow days. 6yo *faints*"
"[sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious! Waiter: Ma'am, you can't try drinks on other tables. Please sit down."
"I went camping with my family for the first time. It was in tents."