40166

Joke of the Day

"A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man."

"Great Britains new Prime Minister Did you see that Boris Johnson might be the next Prime Minister of Great Britain? I remember when the U.S. had a BJ in the top office!"

"Confucius says... Confucius says: Learn to masturbate, come in handy."

"The divorce rate is almost at 60%. How does Cupid keep his job with that level of failure?"

"Will you be my 14th most used emoji?"

"In the window of a bar in Philadelphia Drop a bucket of Starbuck's Iced Coffee on your head to raise awareness of the rich city girls who have lost their ability to even."

"Does anyone know any jokes about buttons? Topic."

"What OS does an atheist run on their computer? Fedora. [For Linux n00bs](https://getfedora.org/)"

"What do you call a turtle who sleeps during the day and is awake at night? Nocturtle"

"Not to freak everybody out but my new desk calendar ends in 2012"