210115

Joke of the Day

"Dating websites I was on eharmony last night, why did it ask my height in inches?"

"I try not to judge my barber for his weight but.. He could be a hair trimmer."

"A boss at a workplace says to his secretary, ""File this report, please.""""You file it, sir,"" the secretary replies. ""I'm a secretary, not a woodworker."""

"I smiled and waved at my neighbour so I bet the first thing he'll do today is buy bedroom curtains."

"How many shaves does it take to remove all a persons pubic hair? A brazillion!"

"Ten years ago I gave up alcohol and women... it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. -George Best"

"How do you leave a bunch of idiots in suspense? I'll tell you guys tomorrow"

"Congratulations on ""obtaining"" your yellow belt. If we're ever attacked by 3 pieces of wood being held together, you're in charge."

"What's the most racist fraction? 3/5"

"Have you guys heard about that new broom that's sweeping the nation? I heard it literally leaves its competitors in the dust!"