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Joke of the Day

"I ran over someone and now there's a bunch of flowers where it happened. It's like, I came back to apologize, not be lavished with gifts"

"Black Friday is the Christian holiday where Jesus rose from the grave at 4am to get in line to purchase a discounted HDTV for his Father."

"Told my mom ""The D"" stood for donuts, and now she won't stop telling people she wants the chocolate D."

"Did you hear about the lactose intolerant man who ate a whole wheel of cheese? it was not gouda for him later."

"Remember kids, those light up sneakers won't seem so cool when wolves are chasing you through the woods at night."

"And in the news today, Justin Bieber has yet to be shot in a drive by. . ."

"What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools"

"I am happy to report this vodka works."

"i know why the new windows is windows 10 instead of 9.. its because seven eight nine. im so proud of myself"

"Socialism Q. Why did the dyslexic escapologist join the International Socialists? A. because he wanted to help untie the human race."