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Joke of the Day

"black ice I rode a bike over some black ice once. I slipped and fell off, and when I looked up, my bike was gone."

"I told wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back. Apparently you shouldn't say that to a woman with alopecia."

"Why do Hippies love Didgeridoo? It is as close as they can get to making love to a tree."

"How are fat girls and mopeds similar? They are fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to find out."

"Did you hear about the house built by lesbians? There's no studs, just tongue and groove."

"You got problems with parenting... You start to get headaches. I follow the instructions on the aspirin bottle: ""Take two and keep away from children."""

"I think the only thing Fox News hasn't yet accused Michael Brown of is stealing Darren Wilson's bullets. #ferguson"

"Shoving a hose up someones butt. What a douche move!"

"If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chance of a stroke. If you let her finish the bottle, she'll probably suck it as well."

"How many Nazis does it take to screw in 6 million lightbulbs? One. The rest were just following orders."