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Joke of the Day

"A shapeshifter repeatedly raped a girl, first as a midget, then as a normal man, and finally as a giant. He came in a variety of sizes."

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"What do you call a fat gay guy? Flab-ulos!"
"The iWatch is awesome because it's the fastest way to let everyone know you used to have 500 dollars."
"Guys, when she complains about something you didn't do, tell her about the things you did do. That will make everything ok! You're welcome!"
"So my friend said to ex girlfriend ""Please dont throw me under the bus"" I replied "" Ya thats right throw her under the subway"""
"Why didnt the toilet paper cross the road? it got stuck in a crack"
"Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married?? A Cantaloupe."
"You know what the best part about having sex with twenty three year olds is? There are twenty of them."
"How many children's TV presenters does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb and another to show one they changed earlier."
"What is the room temperature on Tatooine? Lukewarm"
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