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Joke of the Day

"Walking up to guys with girls with them and saying ""you never called! Our son is 5 now"" then walk away....always brightens my day"

"In my defense, your baby was crying before I dropped it."

"*golf pro picks up his ball and eats it* *audience claps politely*"

"I don't play mario kart with my brother anymore. Because we are both in our 20's & my mom is not there to split us up when we fight."

"Why would Donald Trump want to lose the election? Winning means he'd need to live in a smaller house in a black neighborhood"

"Injured myself dancing last night but fortunately I'm eligible for Twerkman's Comp."

"Hahaha stupid person... When it says 55mph it really means 64mph.........Idiot turtle person"

"And now for the most stupidest joke ever. How do you say the word ""peanuts"" *without* the letter ""t""? Think about it."

"With a name like ""Earl"", I'm more afraid this hurricane will get drunk and beat a pregnant woman, than I am that it will cause flooding."

"How many dead memes does it take to change a lightbulb? Twenty-one."