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Joke of the Day

"Student l: ""Did you know that ghosts are protected by the Constitution?"" Student 2: ""They are?"" Student 1: ""Sure. It's in the Bill of Frights!"""

"Never go to a combination dentist / proctologist..... but if you do, get the dental work first."

"[Justice League HQ] Batman: Hahaha *changes his HBO GO password and doesn't give the new one to The Flash*"

"What do you call a frozen hamburger? A ham-brrr-ger. my 7yo claims she made it up herself."

"I try not to associate myself with bowlers They're all a bunch of pinheads"

"I'm so sick of all the Irish stereotypes... As soon as I put down this beer, I'm going to punch someone!"

"""Wow! Go show your mommy!"" -what I say to any child talking to me for more than 11 seconds."

"What kind of tea isn't fake? A property"

"What kind of STD does a bird get? Chirpies. :-)"

"If I was a cop, I would write the word 'Influence' on a bridge, and pull over anyone that drives under it."