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Joke of the Day

"I just picked up the Germanwings iPhone app... When I switched on airplane mode, it locked me out of the phone and then crashed."

"I was going to be a banker... But I lost interest"

"Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than ""he sees how creepy u are, that's why he doesn't want to shake your hand""."

"I ate way too many freedom fries yesterday. I had to liberate the toilet for hours."

"You have to keep changing your clocks for daylight savings Aint nobody got time fo dat shit but apparently errybody got time fo dat shit."

"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it."

"Why did the stoner go to the chapel? To marry Jane"

"What do you call... Nuts on a wall? - walnuts Nuts on a chest? - chestnuts Nuts on your chin? - a dick in your mouth!"

"What do you call a camel with 3 humps? Humphrey. (I was told this joke by an actual dad, it was his response to one of my jokes)"

"Why does Starbux call it an Oprah chai? Does it taste like Gayle?"