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Joke of the Day

"Apparently, saying ""make it a double"" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy."

"I hate people that drink in order to have fun. Why can't they say it's great just to drink, whether you have fun or not?"

"New study shows Android phone users are more likely to put out, apparently iPhone users are too busy waiting in a line to have sex."

"classic germans Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport. ""Nationality?"" asks the immigration officer. ""German,"" she replies. ""Occupation?"" ""No, just here for a few days."""

"At least there's one other woman who's more wasted than me in this emergency room. No, my mistake, she's got dementia."

"My wife's been nagging me to see the dentist about a tooth extraction. She says getting me to go is like pulling teeth."

"How do you keep a blonde waiting? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"I wonder if they have WiFi in Hell..."

"What did the Middle Eastern dictator say after he had lunch? I ate too many chickpeas, now I falafel."

"Apple Computer is taking steps to protect user privacy. Their new policy is iWon't tell...iPromise"