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Joke of the Day

"SMS codes for seniors: BTW - Bring the Wheelchair FWIW - Forgot Where I Was LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out WTFA - Wet the Furniture Again"

"I'm a devout Catholic with a sex addiction. I'm a hole-y fucker."

"What does Godzilla do part time when he's not destroying cities? He flips houses"

"If liquor stores ask for ID to prove you're old enough to drink, Forever 21 should ask for ID to prove you're young enough for those shorts."

"I had the best ice cube It's like it could melt in my mouth"

"Thanksgiving joke What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving? Twerky! Just kidding... Drugs. She eats drugs. -Adam Zopf @adamzopf"

"Why doesn't Thor of the insect world use a hammer? He's already got a Thor Axe."

"If you don't react when the Dr. hits your knee with the mallet, the Hippocratic Oath says he has to kill you with a shotgun right then."

"Based on Trump's History, if elected, he is likely to get divorced and remarried while in the White House It will be ""Marriage Apprentice"" White House Edition"

"Was out on the golf course and shot an eagle at Hole 9. Mom doesn't believe me, but wait till she sees the eagle."