151553

Joke of the Day

"I updated my drivers on my laptop and now I have all kinds of pop ups...thanks Microsoft!"

"What did the astronaut say to his girlfriend when he broke up with her? I need some space."

"Damn girl, are you weed? Because you smell dank."

"A boy ate a Pb and jelly sandwich And then died"

"I'm such a crastinator... I'm way too busy redditing to go Pro!"

"Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, ""Suck what?"""

"Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni... That folks, is what drugs do to you."

"Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a flasher comes by and opens his trench coat. The first two nuns each had a stroke. The third nun couldn't reach."

"Santa hates penguins True fact. Santa hates penguins. In truth, they are polar opposites."

"My girlfriend said we should split up because she can't handle me acting like a detective all the time... ""GOOD IDEA!"" I said... ""We can cover more ground that way!"""