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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when you sleep with all 140 characters of twitter? A rashtag."
Next Joke
"""Hitting it hard as shit"" and ""tickling the hole"" are not phrases that I would have associated with golf before today"
"Congratulations on passing your test! You have HIV!"
"Hey guys I found an iPhone 6s If it's yours contact me. I still need the charger!"
"What do you call an astronaut who loves himself? A NASAccist!"
"[landlord showing new tenant around] ""No smoking allowed"" ""How about pets?"" ""That's fine"" [dog walks in and lights up] ""We'll take it"""
"Why don t women have men s brains? Because they don't have penises to put them in"
"why can,t you trust a Atom Because thay make up every thing"
"GF looking at lines in carpet: Aww, you vacuumed for me? Me: *flashback to me rollerblading in the living room* Sure did, babe."
"Being killed by a paper-cut would be... Quite a novel way to die."