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Joke of the Day

"Dirty joke Do you know who the biggest whore in history is? Mrs. Pacman. For a quarter, that bitch would swallow balls 'till she died."

"What did Spock find in the toilet? The captains log!"

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? You slow down and add lubricant."

"Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows"

"Very tired of the NSA reading my tweets and not retweeting them."

"How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows. No one ever watches the choir director."

"Why couldn't the physicist understand how boats work? He thought nothing could possibly travel faster than sea."

"I got a job as a triangle player in a reggae band... I just stand at the back and ting."

"Cholo What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him? ""Get off me, homes!"" My brother heard this on Tosh."

"Coworker: By your age I was on my 3rd child already. Me: Wow that's a lot of kids to eat in a such a short period of time."