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Joke of the Day

"My friend wants to be frozen to 273.15C after he dies. But at least we know (_) ( _)>- (_) he was 0K."

"I like my women like I like my wine... 7 years old and locked up in a cellar"

"Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident."

"Look, Clinton's gonna win. US President order has to follow Star Trek Captain order: white guy, white guy, black guy, woman, Scott Bakula."

"According to HR, white people aren't issued a race card, and they'd appreciate if I went back to my desk. *shrugs*"

"""Expires 4/2013""??? What a boring-ass Snapple Fact"

"Hickory Dickory Dock... Three mice ran up the clock The clock struck one But the rest escaped with minor injuries. (Something my grandfather told me when I was five)"

"You'll NEVER guess who I came across the other day... your MOM!"

"Squirrels run around like they're being chased. Nobody cares about you. You live in tree. Get a job"

"Oral makes your whole day... But anal makes your hole weak!"