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Joke of the Day
"What war did a fat person fight in? Viet-nom-nom-nom"
Next Joke
"""Swimming is dangerous, so I wear floaties on my arms for safety!"" [cut to me floating face-down in a pool with only my arms above water]"
"I would rather that you'd just paid some of my bills, but thanks for this combination rubik's cube/pepper grinder."
"What do French people do when they don't have bottles of their favourite beverage? They go to Cannes"
"You know your relationship is losing its spark when your wife wears a rape whistle to bed."
"Why did Thor file a police report? Because someone stole his thunder"
"Religion is like masturbation. It's okay to practice it at home in private, but when people start gathering to do it together shit goes downhill."
"What's the difference between a fruit and a vegetable? A fruit doesn't need a wheelchair"
"#BREAKING Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus."
"Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ? He heard the ref was blowing fouls"