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Joke of the Day

"So I looked up Jewish porn the other day... But all I found was ash to mouth."

"You know what the worst part is about dating a Japanese girl? If I ever decide to break up with her I will have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message"

"Q.What do me and a mirror have in common? A.When we see your face we both crack up!"

"What sucks about being black and jewish? You gotta stand at the back of the oven! Edit: I was at an [7] when typing this and fucked it up. It is better now. oven was bus. Changed bus to oven."

"I love my yoga pants. I have no idea what they have to do with yoga, but they're great for drinking, smoking and tweeting."

"July 4th celebrates the original Brexit. Thanks George"

"I double majored in TV and burritos."

"The Titanic was built to last, let that sink in."

"Walking condoms Two condoms are walking down the street. As they pass a gay bar one turns to the other and says.... you wanna go inside and get shit faced?"

"PEOPLE OF THE PLANE LISTEN TO ME WHEN THE SEATBELT LIGHT GOES OFF STAND UP IMMEDIATELY OR YOUR SPOT IN THE NON-MOVING LINE WON'T BE ASSURED"