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Joke of the Day

"I still believe in love. But I also believe in sasquatch, nessy, and that I could win the lottery. So there's that...."

"[texting] you mean the wolf to me -wolf? ha! autocorrect fail! -lol what i meant to say was...you're a mean wolf to me"

"We heard that the building was being attacked by a giant fly... ... So we called the SWAT team."

"I like my children how I like my Christmas decorations Only on the holidays."

"Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio? It took her a month to realize she could play it at night..."

"Dozing off during Sportscenter and waking up an hour later in the same clip is every guy's version of Memento."

"Call me a stun gun Because I'm going to shock you with a bad joke."

"I point my gun at the bank teller and order him to fill my bag with cash but he struggles because the bag is already full of tacos."

"What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection? LeBronchitis"

"Did you know... If you put your ear up to a woman's vagina, you can actually hear her scream, ""what the fuck are you doing?"""