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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Polish bank robber? Tied up the safe and blew the guard."

"""I hate hashtags!"" Dad screams as he smashes his #1 Dad coffee mug against a wall."

"""Oh Shit, Was That Today?"" an autobiography"

"Theres no point in tailgating me when I'm going 50 in a 35 zone Also, those red flashing lights on your car look ridiculous"

"Whats the best time to go to the dentist? 4:30pm It let's you out of work a bit early with a valid excuse"

"My therapist cries ""Why me?"" for the full hour."

"How did the nucleus escape from prison? Through the cell wall. I'm sorry. This was just too wonderful to resist sharing."

"Renewing your wedding vows is like agreeing on a double life sentence to prison."

"I hate the new 'Edge' browser Microsoft implemented in Windows 10... ...It's so pointless!"

"When I went off to college my parents threw a great going away party... ...according to the letter they sent."