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Joke of the Day
"What do you get when a basketball player gets a lung infection? LeBronchitis"
Next Joke
"One mans trash... ""One man's rubbish is another man's treasure"" is a fantastic Idiom. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted."
"*Asks soulmate* What is your dream car and why? Minivan, because the sliding door <joining in> MAKES IT EASIER FOR DRIVE-BY BAZOOKA ATTACKS"
"Wife: I feel horrible; I look old, fat and completely unattractive. I really need you to pay me a compliment. Husband: Your eyesight and opinion is damn right."
"Did you hear about the black boy with with diarrhea? Everyone thought he was melting."
"What did the dubstep valentine's day card say? I wub you"
"The Constitution says nothing about it being illegal for cats to carry firearms and this worries me immensely."
"I searched for a Colt 45 Silencer online... Result: http://puu.sh/mXB3Y/129ff5c7f0.jpg P.S. If this is the wrong subreddit, let me know."
"What is the difference between a gay man and a hot dog? One is an oscar meyer weiner, the other admires oscar's weinner"
"[Red Lobster] Waiter: we're offering Endless Shrimp. Me: bring me the endless shrimp <5 days later> Waiter: please leave, I have a family"