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Joke of the Day

"Did you know... If you put your ear up to a woman's vagina, you can actually hear her scream, ""what the fuck are you doing?"""

"What do chemists make guacamole out of? Avogadros"

"Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate? He couldn't take any more lip!"

"My friend David lost his ID the other day Now we just call him dav"

"why didn't jimmy drive the tractor? Because he had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? Because he was a potato."

"that moment when football players come out of the locker room and realize they're all wearing the same thing again"

"Every time you enter a room, you should say ""Smells like farts in here."" This way when you fart later, they'll never suspect you."

"The hardest part of having sex again after you have recently been widowed is.... Gettin there before the rigor mortis sets in."

"I dated a girl once who turned out to be a cannibal. That really came back to bite me in the ass."

"Judging by the commercials, only old white guys with sailboats can suffer from erectile dysfunction."