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Joke of the Day

"The keurig machine at work acts like its going to give me coffee, but it turns off at the last minute. I feel like I'm getting brew balls."

"What did the bobby (English policeman) say to the hitchhiker with three heads, no arms and one leg? ""'Ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, 'op in."""

"What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly a dick in your ass"

"If body builders religiously try to gain weight.. Does that mean they go to the gym for mass?"

"What's the difference between chemistry and cooking? In chemistry, you should never lick the spoon."

"I have a condition preventing my going on a successful diet. There's a medical term for it, but in plain language, it's hunger."

"A will is a... ...dead giveaway."

"Where do you find a one legged dog? NSFW Wherever you fucking left him"

"Worst days in United States history.. .. 9/11 and 11/9"

"I do this amazing trick where I can erase every restaurant from your memory. Ready? Ok, here goes... ""Where should we go for dinner?"""