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Joke of the Day

"My attempt at a joke? My mum is going through Labour and my dad says: ""Could Ukip already?"""

"""This one's cute."" - me picking out a watermelon. I have no idea what I'm doing."

"a lady walks into her house but then the she realizes she does not have a home for living and is sleeping in trash bag"

"When I die I want to invite my college group mates to my funeral and have them bury me So they can let me down one last time"

"What happens when you go to the bathroom scared? A spooky dookie."

"What's the worst time of the year for the Slinkies factory? Spring break. BA DUM TISS"

"Every time my daughter drinks juice she says ""cheers"" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences."

"I can't wait to jump on my kids' beds at 5am on Mother's Day, and holler ""WHAT DID YOU GET ME?!?"""

"What do vegetarian zombies eat? Graiins!"

"My wife passed away from an infected in-grown hair. I got a cyst and deceased letter."