162817

Joke of the Day

"*standing by the turntables at the club* Her: are you the dj? Me: wha?... Oh, no, I was hoping this was a crepe station"

"Why is this joke bad for the environment? Because it wasn't recycled."

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are sold for a couple of dollars, and deer nuts can be found under a buck."

"Do you know why the Circus industry might go bankrupt? If Donald Trump gets elected, the entire world will just need to listen to the news for a free circus."

"If your method of birth control is abstinence... ...and you miss a day, you might be in trouble."

"Name dog. Call dog every derivative of that name but the actual name."

"Did you hear about the nun who only made her clothes out of rags she found on the street? She had a very odd habit."

"What's long, green, and smells like bacon? Kermit's middle finger."

"How do you confuse a blonde? You don't... They're born that way"

"Her: I just don't like you, no one does Me: What, why? is it my hair? Her: no Me: MY LOOKS!? Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god"