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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part of breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message."

"I'm heading to Greenwich later today. Wondering what I should do in the Mean Time."

"So a man walks into a game shop and buys COD: Ghosts...... ...gets it home, plays it and realises it's the same as every other COD game ever. Guess that's not really a joke....."

"Why did H blow itself up? Because G had."

"I know I'll be a good father. I've had my iPhone for over 6 months now and I've only dropped it 182 times so far."

"What kind of bees give milk? BOOBIES!!!"

"A man walks into his son's room... He warns his kid, ""Son, you need to stop masturbating, or you'll go blind!"" The boy responds, ""I'm over here, dad."""

"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."

"[catches your phone before it hits the ground] Whew, that was close! [smashes your phone against the wall] See, that could have happened."

"pushing an obese dude down a hill wasn't what i had in mind when you asked me if i wanted to roll a fatty."