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Joke of the Day

"You can tell how important a thing is by if there's a cheese of it: string, important; mars, not important; blue, important; democracy, not"

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"Usain Bolt isn't allowed near any elementary schools. The speed limit is only 40 kph!"
"What do Hispanic midgets cut their pizza with? Little Caesar's"
"These days my boss has been getting on my nerves. See I'm a brick layer and he is always yelling to layer the bricks faster and faster... These days everyone wants instant stratification."
"Just saw a Fiat 500 smash into a Smart Car on I-95. Cutest. Thing. Ever."
"Friday is like a bra... You did your job all week, now it's time to take it off!... anyone need a hand??"
"Don't take me camping because if I see a bear, I will hug that bear."
"So, I got a card from a friend that said ""I'm Sorry"". It was all handcrafted and I didn't know what it was for, but I was flattered. I opened it and it said ""For fucking your mom"" :0 WTF!?!?!?"
"Yesterday I went rollerblading, and I ran into batman. So I say ""Oy! Batman! Come skate with me! . . . "" But Batman just says ""I'M NOT WEARING HOCKEY PADS!"""
"Dirtiest joke ever told A pig rolled in the mud"