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Joke of the Day

"what did the homeless man get for christmas? hypothermia"

"Just saw someone order a cup of water at this restaurant. Knocked it out of his hand. We're in a drought, idiot."

"When doesn't a telephone work underwater? When it's wringing wet!"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I don't jelly my cock down a bitches throat."

"Teacher: Why didn't you answer me ? Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !"

"Late term abortion now offered in Florida Free with stay to any Orlando resort"

"The best part of being single is that you always get to be right."

"you can tell im drunk by the number of made-up words i concoctulate"

"I wonder Is Gordon Lightfoot heavy handed?"

"Seriously In 20 years time and you're at a pub quiz and a question starts with ""in what year"" Just answer 2016"