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Joke of the Day

"Golfer: ""Caddy do you think my game is improving?"" Caddy: ""Oh yes sir! You miss the ball much closer than you used to."""

"What's Thor's favourite piece of clothing? Thunderpants"

"[1st date] Her: so u play piano? Him: yep Her: is it hard? Him: that's pretty forward but yeah, as a rock Her: I meant playing piano Him: oh"

"How my day went today 1. Woke up 2. Went to work 3. Saw hot girl 4. Kissed the girl Too bad it happened in the order 2,3,4,1."

"Somewhere an elderly lady reads a book on how to use the internet, while a young boy googles ""how to read a book""."

"How do you milk a sheep and make a profit? Remove the audio jack"

"Once I saved 10 kittens from a burning building and yes all the people died but look how cute they are"

"Why is Sia not in her music videos? Because she doesn't want anyone to Sia"

"A Chinese acrobat/protester somersaulted over the police line in Hong Kong and was pepper sprayed. The crowd declared, ""That was a-mace-ing!"""

"TIL: Diarrhea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans."