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Joke of the Day

"[1st date] Her: so u play piano? Him: yep Her: is it hard? Him: that's pretty forward but yeah, as a rock Her: I meant playing piano Him: oh"

"How an Illuminati living in the arctic is called? An Igloominati"

"I'm starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ..."

"If you practice Yoga, but are not a vegetarian, You're just a poser."

"There's a little ""I'm jealous"" in every ""whatever."""

"Today I fucked up because your girl was riding on top of me."

"Yo momma's so dense, she got a job at NASA... ..bending light."

"So a duck walks into a bar... He waddles over to a seat and settles in. The bartender says ""Hey there, what can I get for you?"" And the duck says ""I... I don't know. I've never made it this far."""

"Student: Can we postpone the test? It's on my birthday. Teacher: Well unlike your birthday, this test was planned ahead of time."

"Well, I'm going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it."