162325

Joke of the Day

"Here's my gym schedule. Monday, cardio. Tuesday, weights. Wednesday, 7 mile bike ride. Thursday, 15 year break. Repeat."

"I like to confuse my husband. So I smiled at him this morning."

"The hipster A hipster was traveling down some river rapids. He came across a fork in the river and decided to take the left fork because the right was too mainstream"

"Sometimes I get to lazy to fini"

"A young lady who had just been dumped by her boyfriend seemed unusually cheerful. Someone asked her why, and she replied that, sooner or later, time wounds all heels."

"Why do people paint eggs for Easter? Bunnies squirm too much."

"The best place to get pumpkins cheap is driving around the neighborhood at 4AM. Got 5 nice ones this morning."

"Why did the melon try so hard to get her father's approval? Because she cant-aloupe"

"There's a new study out from the Department of Education... It shows that two thirds of Americans don't understand fractions and the other half don't care."

"My life will forever be divided into two segments: before I ever used a bidet, and the Age of Enlightenment."