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Joke of the Day

"I have a UPS joke Sorry it was delivered it to your landlord's off property leasing office ten miles down the road."

"What do you call a lesbian octopus? A lickalotopuss."

"""So you met the victim on tinder"" Yes ""Do you often meet women on tinder""? Yeah I've been murdering it on there *lawyer puts head in hands*"

"X post from meanjokes: michael schumacher regained consciousness today, have your heard how the doctors did it? They sat him on the window seat of the bus"

"The best part about being a comma is that you're usually followed by a nice big BUT."

"My friend entered a poetry related pun contest. He stanza good chance."

"what is worse than locking your keys in your car parked at planned parent hood? going inside to borrow a coat hanger"

"Damn, ref. Is your phone on vibrate? Because you sure as hell missed that pass interference call on Sherman!"

"Looking for a flexible babysitter. My girlfriend only does missionary."

"Why is Light Beer like sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water"