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Joke of the Day

"I lied and told someone, ""I can't go to your party I have diarrhea."" I actually do have diarrhea but historically that hasn't stopped me"

"Oscar Isaac wasn't nominated so far despite his performances in Inside Llewyn Davis and Ex Machina Talk about an Oscar being snubbed"

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? He wiped his ass."

"What did Reddit say to his elderly mother when he tried to take her to a home? Get in the Karma."

"Why Are Demons So Fat? Because they hate exorcising."

"Saw some Advil on the floor this morning and sincerely thought ""Better just leave it there so I know where it is."""

"I literally got fired from a job for not knowing what to do with my hands when I talk. I guess sign language interpreting just wasn't for me"

"you really have to admire brits who voted to leave They were so worried about immigrants ruining their economy than they preempted it by doing it themselves."

"How do you greet your Mexican friend eating sushi? Wassap B?"

"Damn girl, are you a door? Because I want to slam you!"