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Joke of the Day

"Friend: just make small talk *later, on date* Me: so...grains of sand Her: uh yea- Me: dwarves Her: are u okay- Me: bottle caps"

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one bats an eye, Use chemicals to remove the Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a buck ninety-nine, but deer nuts are always under a buck."

"What do you call an elephant in a phone box? Stuck."

"I would tell you a joke about Iowa... ...but it'd be pretty corny."

"I lost my dishwasher, washingmashine, dryer, iron, stove, and vacumcleaner today. Her funeral will be this saturday."

"What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth? A pedi-file"

"I woke up the other day and had really bad bed head. Never called her again."

"I went on a blind date once... ...her name was ....:::..... ::...:..:...:"

"What's it called when you throw Indian food at someone? Naan-aggression."