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Joke of the Day

"Before & after marriage Before marriage: Roses are red, sky is blue, O my darling! I love you... After Marriage: Roses are dead, I have flu, don't come near me, Paray hatt tuu,"

"I once dated a girl with a lazy eye, It was going well for a few months until I realized she was seeing someone else."

"Q: Why can't a bicycle stand up? A: It is two tired."

"10 just informed me that exercising releases inner-dolphins. If that's not a reason to exercise, then I don't know what is."

"America is going to suffer if Donald Trump becomes president. You could say they are going toupee for it."

"My idiot son turned 21 today... ...he says the last ten years were way better than the first nine."

"What's the difference between LSD and LDS (Latter Day Saints)? one you take with a sugar cube, the other with a grain of salt :P"

"How many Dependent P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb? None he's still clinging to the old lightbulb."

"Does syria have any walmarts? No, only targets."

"What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it? A balloon animal!"