161982

Joke of the Day

"Netflix is all, ""Do you want to watch a bunch of crappy documentaries? No?? Well how about if we charged you $9 a month to watch them??"""

"Can't wait for Game 8 of the World Series, Indians vs the Dakota Access Pipeline"

"So a local photographer started seeing a chemist from out of town... I heard their relationship was developing quite nicely."

"There are 10 types of people Those who understand hexadecimal.. And F the rest."

"Clearly something went amiss when I said I liked an animal in the bedroom and he showed up with a raccoon."

"What emits a monochromatic beam of salty snack food? Frito Layser."

"What do you call an insane nocturnal blood-sucking parasite? A lunartick."

"""Oh my god, that's so offensive!""- Someone, about everything."

"My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know"

"Pharmacist: need any help? Me: Yes, I'd like whatever Oprah was on when she gave each and every audience member a car"