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Joke of the Day

"Ladies: To see how a guy is in bed, watch him put on a shoe. Does he just cram his foot in? Or does he lick the shoe fully then gently enter"

"Therapist: what would you say to your dad if he were alive today? Me: sorry for cremating you. I honestly thought you were dead"

"Before I eat chips, I have to look in the bag for a perfect one"

"What do you call a woodland elf without any connecting plastic bricks to play with? Legolas"

"They say sex after marriage is not the same. My sex life is like the Olympics! Happens once every four years, costs me lots of money, & there's usually a big fight afterward."

"What do you call a pretentious criminal going down a flight of stairs? A condescending condescending"

"This dog must been at some wild ass party last night. He still wearing a lampshade around his neck."

"What has handles and flies? A witch in a garbage can."

"These dull kitchen knife jokes just aren't cutting it anymore."

"How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool."