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Joke of the Day

"Which UK party will the sleeping pigs be voting for in May? The Lay-Boar Party."

"borrow money from a pessimist Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back."

"I like my women like I like my coffee not older than 12 years"

"What Does Pink Floyd and Princess Diana Have in Common? Their biggest hit was the wall."

"My local Greek restaurant just started serving tacos and burritos.... I tried it earlier today and it turns out it's plain old Greecey Mexican food."

"What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A woman that won't do what she's told."

"Why aren't there any Mexican astronauts? Because whenever they hear the world ""launch"", they go get something to eat."

"A Polish guy goes for eye test. Doctor points towards the last line on Eye Test Chart, S I S Z T R Z T O W S K I Doctor, ""Can you read that?"" Polish guy, "" Read that? I fucking know that guy!!!"""

"Had to pick my son up from school today He got caught being wanked off under the desk by someone in his class for the 3rd time this week! I said ""son, maybe teaching isn't the job for you!"""

"Nothing makes you look like an alcoholic more than not knowing how you got a cut on your face."