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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic who has insomnia? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog."

"Why did John F. Kennedy take a cab home? Because he had too many shots."

"Someone called me lazy today... I almost responded."

"The Theory of Relativity: Time moves more slowly when you are with your relatives."

"It was a beautiful day at the beach. .... Three young women with eye-popping racks decided to sunbathe without their bikini tops. .... A cop came along and pinched all six of 'em."

"what did one lesbian vampire say to the other? same time next month? (hopefully not a repost)"

"I told my chiropractor that my spine was already in alignment, but he proved me wrong. Now I stand corrected."

"What did the Cannibal do after he dumped his Girlfriend? Wipe his ass."

"Chicken walks in to a bar... It's full of Roosters. Chicken says, ""I crossed the road for this?"""

"My ten year-old daughter is learning Chinese characters in school, so she can pick out a really good lower-back tattoo when she gets older"