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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet."

"Hey, did you hear about the road paver who got fired? He couldn't even."

"Two guys are talking about their family histories... GUY 1: Hey, I heard you're Einstein's distant cousin. GUY 2: I'm not sure, really. It's just a theory of relativity."

"Why are socially-aware western tourists avoiding Nice, France for their late-summer getaways? All that Muslim hatred can really run you down."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cymbals ! Cymbals who? Cymbals have horns and others don't !"

"I often say to myself, ""I can't believe that cloning machine worked."""

"When people say ""surreal"" they mean ""real"", it's just most of your life is not very real, just repetition and routine."

"Drunk girls would be amazing lawyers if they cared about laws & freedoms as much as they cared about trying to convince people they're sober"

"My dad's better than your dad... Three kids are in an agruement about who's dad is better. ""My dad's a fireman"" said Billy. ""My dad's a marine!"" said Johnny. ""My dad's invisible."" said Brian."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put him in the microwave 'till his Bill Withers."