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Joke of the Day

"Comcast: ""Would you like to upgrade your Internet service to include cable?"" Me: ""No thanks, the illegal downloading has that base covered."""

"Computers make very fast very accurate mistakes."

"How do you make a Welsh person comfortable while playing Scrabble? Remove the vowels in his rack."

"What does a girls asshole and a 9v battery have in common? You know it's wrong but eventually you stick your tongue to it."

"Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it."

"A good way to break up with a girl gently is to curtsy when youre meeting her father instead of shaking his hand."

"Computer technology used to be a lot tougher. Back when I was a teenager, mice had balls."

"A father asks his child, ""Could you please stop listening to Korean music?"" ""K, pop."""

"If I see you being rude to a waitress, I'll spit in your food myself."

"What did they say to the doctor that wanted to sew his own stitches? ""Suture self!"""