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Joke of the Day

"So I dropped my pack of gum when my sister asked for a piece I looked to her and said ""Don't worry... It's in MINT condition"""

"What starts with ""c"" and ends with ""unt"" cunt."

"Why are planes strong? Cuz they can lift."

"Psychiatrist ""Tell me about your trust issues."" Me ""No"""

"Oscar Pistorius was released from jail into his uncles custody I heard his uncles shitting himself, safer than using the toilet"

"If you read a text in front of the mirror three times, I will appear and help you analyze it."

"Paychecks are like dicks... Although you don't go around comparing yours to other peoples, you always hope it's a little bigger."

"What's the difference between sand and menstrual blood? You can't gargle sand."

"A light joke. So I had this crazy dream where I weighed less than a thousandth a gram. Yeah I was like 0mg!"

"What did the Greek God say when he could finally take the world off his shoulders? At las!"