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Joke of the Day

"[2 dead cats on ground] Cat Detective: Curiosity killed them but how...*dies* ~later~ [3 dead cats on ground] Cat Detective II: How di...*dies*"

"Mountains... They peaked years ago"

"A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it"

"I used poo to wash my hair. What a sham! Poo doesn't work at all!"

"Wow, I got this new lamp from the store and didn't use a dime! But instead, I used 30$"

"Oxygen atom was looking for threesome. Poor guy got ozoned"

"As bad as 2016 seems to be, it could be worse... You could have got a phone call from Charlie Sheen."

"Doctor Doctor I'm a burglar! Have you taken anything for it?"

"ME: OMG I CAN'T BREATHE I ATE WAY TOO MUCH CALL A DOCTOR HER: do you want dessert? ME: ok, but just a small slice."

"Did you hear about the Stormtrooper who became a kamikaze pilot? He survived 99 missions."